


5 hour energy

by orphan_account



Series: gbg oneshots [6]
Category: Gay baby gang
Genre: M/M, idk this was fun to write tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 02:01:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15499842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: mason and swagger fight over some weird things sometimes





	5 hour energy

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally written for my friend grace!
> 
> prompt: "i took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people sitting behind us and one of them said "Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce 'egg'?""

“it’d only give you 2.5 hours of energy!!” mason exclaimed. “half of 5 is 2.5, so it’d only give you 2.5 hours of energy!”

“no, it wouldn’t you fucking idiot.” swagger shot back, arms crossed. “it’s called fucking five hour energy for a reason! so it’d only give you 5 half-assed hours on energy, cause it still gives you the full 5 hours.”

“but you’re only fucking drinking half of it, you cunt!!” mason argued. “you have to drink the whole fucking thing to get five hours of energy!”

“says who?” swagger challenged, and mason ran a hand down his face.

“the fucking bottle does, you fucking idiot! like you said– it’s called five hour energy for a reason!” mason mocked, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“never in my fucking life have i ever seen a five hour energy bottle say ‘gives you a full five hours of energy’ on it.” swagger deadpanned.

“how the fuck have you never—“ mason began, but stopped himself, taking a deep breath. “you know what? let’s ask someone else their opinion.”

“fine.” swagger said, and the two turned in their seats to face the three people behind them.

“hi, could you help us with something?” swagger asked, flicking mason in the head, who let out a ‘hey!’ and glared at him in response.

“are your arguments always like this?” one of the people asked. swagger and mason’s expressions morphed into confusion and swagger tensed a bit.

“what do you mean?” swagger asked, his tone defensive. he wrapped an arm around mason instinctively, and the person laughed.

“it’s not meant to be an insult. it’s just— we heard you in the lobby fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’.” they said.

“oh.” swagger said. mason giggled, putting a hand on top of the one wrapped around him.

“yeah, most of the time they are. we fight about dumb shit all the time, it’s kinda just our dynamic.” mason grinned. “also, i won that argument.”

“no, he didn’t, and who the fuck pronounces egg “ee-g” you fucking dunce.” swagger snarked, and mason put his hand over swagger’s mouth.

“shut the fuck up. anyways, back to the topic of 5 hour energy—“ mason began, only to interrupt himself with a disgusted noise. he ripped his hand away from swagger’s mouth, glaring at him.

“did you just lick my fucking hand?! what are you, five??” mason groaned, wiping his hand on his jeans.

“yeah, five inches deep in your MOM.” swagger shot back, earning him another glare. the two began bickering once more, forgetting about the three people behind them.

“that was funnier than this entire improv show.” one said, grinning at his friends.

“i can’t wait to hear about one of their kids on the news or something.” another chuckled, and the three agreed, quieting down as the second half of the show began, though they were paying slightly more attention to the two lovers bickering in front of them.


End file.
